Do ya wanna YELP with me...

Got an opinion?...Who dosen't?
Wanna tell folks about it?
I found this great site called YELP.
Its gives real people a chance to give real reviews
about...well.... just about anything.
So I figured, what the hell, my slightly skewed
opinions are just as good as anyone else's.
Right?
If you look up Gelateria Naia on Yelp, you'll
be able to read my opinion of their gelatos.
Hint: They're scrum-dilly-icious!

Let me know what YOU think of Yelp.
C'mon, I know you have an opinion.
http://www.yelp.com

Happy Birthday 2 Me...

How many birthdays do you remember?
Do you know what you did 3,4 years ago
to celebrate your birthday?
There are a small handfull of birthdays
I remember very well. And it's not that
all the others weren't memorable...
I'm sure they were...I just can't
remember them.

This birthday will not soon be
forgotten...Buubie and V drove me
to Healdsburg CA with brief layovers
in Guerneville and Santa Rosa.
Gas prices being what they are, I took
this as the ultimate in extravagance.
They also gifted me with lunch, dinner,
flowers and an iPod Shuffle.

Oh...I forgot...I also got a gift
certificate to iTunes...
ohmygod...it's already starting.

Now where did I leave my keys?

Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out...

It's been 30 years since I've been in school.
I stepped into my psych class and I could swear
I heard Arnold Horshacks' laugh. There behind the
teachers' podium was Mr. Kotter....ok..it
wasn't the real Gabe Kaplan, but a reasonable
facsimile....rumpled suit jacket, brown corduroy
pants and the hairstyle that few white men can
pull off...THE AFRO!

This was not the college experience I'd pictured
in my head. I imagined the amphitheater from
The Paper Chase and a professor who looked and
sounded more like John Houseman and fellow students
who sat around on the grass with books open, debating
Freud and Plato while sipping steaming cups
of very strong coffee...

But you get what you pay for.

City College is not an Ivy League school and
Gabe Kaplan is not John Houseman and my fellow
students are cluttered around the doorway to
class debating Brittany and Christina, and I, alas,
am not 18 anymore...but you best believe I
will give those kids a run for their money...
I will be the modern day Freddie "boom boom"
Washington...and when they say "Bring It"...
I'll say "It's Been Brought"

Tell Me Something Good...

I was checking out one of my favorite blogs...
jackhamster.com and came across some great
questions that were asked of him, along with
some thoughtfull answers. So I asked him to
devise some queeries for me to answer...and
lo and behold he did. Here they are:

1- You suddenly come into 2.5 million dollars, how
do you spend it?
I’d buy a house and a new car. I’d send some to
my family. I'd give a donation to Glide church
to help the homeless. And the rest I’d invest,
’cause money makes money.

2- What do you think happens after this life?
I’m not a God-fearin’ man but I’m not a gamblin’
man either. So I try to live my life as honorably
as I can. If I die and there is no heaven…then
I’ll just be happy to become a part of the
life cycle of the planet as my ashes are scattered
to the 4 winds. If there IS a heaven…well then I
should be in pretty good standing with the
BIG GUY upstairs and can relax watching
back to back to back episodes of Law and Order
till the end of time.

3- Butts or Baskets?
Wow, that’s a toughie. I’ve seen big bulgy baskets
that induce drool, but if they turn around and the
butt is as flat as Ashlee Simpson singing live,
then I’m turned off. However, if they’ve got a rear
you could bounce Susan B. Anthony off of and the
basket is just so-so…I’d choose the bouncy-butt
and be a happy man.

4- What specific instance occured that made you realize
you are gay?
When I masturbated using my SpiderMan comic.

5- In the shower, what do you get the most pleasure out
of washing?
My hair! I love shampooing. I guess it’s the smell and
the sensation of the lather as it slides slowly down
my body. Gee…I think my hairs’ a little dirty right now….
gotta go.

As all memes do, this one comes with a set of rules/ instructions:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment
below saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -
each person’s will be different. I’ll post the questions
in the comments section of this post.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to
interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed,
you will ask them five questions.

What if God was one of us....

What if doing the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
What if Hillary were President and Oprah was Vice President?
What if life was a bowl of cherries, but it was those
awful marischino cherries full of red dye #7?
What if people gave a damn about Africa?
What if Bush fantasizes about Tom Cruise?
What if the new Dukes of Hazard movie has serious subtext?
What if skip to my loo is what I do when I REALLY have
to pee?
What if bringing our soldiers home IS supporting our troops?
What if Republicans and Democrats were different?
What if dogs get embarassed when they poop in public?
What if Whitney and Bobby only use crack recreationaly?
What if Pamela Anderson and Dolly Parton got in the
same elevator...no wait...that's impossible.
What if Barry Bonds is innocent and it's just
water weight?
What if the Golden Rule was made the Golden Law?
What if Michael is not a child molester and he just
likes having young boys in his bed because...
wait, what am I saying?
What if...